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un chapeau sur ma tête

Это курам на смех

Paul Timmins
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Stuff you should read, and know

"If tyranny and oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy"
-- James Madison

Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it. -- Mark Twain

The Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion. - Treaty of Tripoli, 1797

"It is true, of course, that the phrase 'separation of church and state' does not appear in the Constitution. But it was inevitable that some convenient term should come into existence to verbalize a principle so clearly and widely held by the American people.... [T]he right to a fair trial is generally accepted to be a constitutional principle; yet the term "fair trial" is not found in the Constitution. To bring the point even closer home, who would deny that "religious liberty" is a constitutional principle? Yet that phrase too is not in the Constitution. The universal acceptance which all these terms, including "separation of church and state," have received in America would seem to confirm rather than disparage their reality as basic American democratic principles." -Leo Pfeffer

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." -Theodore Roosevelt

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

The Road Not Taken - Robert Frost

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:4

The Paul Timmins FAQ

  • Q: Are you like, single?

    A: No. On August 19, 2006, after 7.5 years of dating, I married my high school sweetheart, Rebecca. Yay!

  • Q: You're never on AIM!

    A: I usually am only on at work to communicate with my coworkers. I find it too disruptive often, and either forget or conciously opt not to open it. If you want me on it, send me an email or something. I'm checking that all the time.

  • Q: Wait, don't you run telcodata.us?

    A: Yep.

  • Q: I've seen some story that says you get 10,000 hits a day on that. I don't believe you.

    A: Fine then, don't.

  • Q: What's your real name?

    A: Paul Timmins. Just like it says at the top.

  • Q: Where do you live?

    A: 1768 Beaupre Dr

    Madison Heights, MI 48071

  • Q: What is your Wii number?

    A: 4592 1408 2793 0612. Comment to something with yours or email it to me.

  • Q: Whatever happened to all those felony charges in that huge ass indictment?

    A: They were dropped, and the US Attorney admitted in open court as part of my misdemeanor sentencing that I had no intent to commit fraud or steal. I'd actually like to commend Mr. Martens for his honesty on that. We really weren't expecting that level of candor in my sentencing, and it was greatly appreciated.

    I was sentenced to 2 years probation and a $100 fine.

  • Q: Wait, wait, wait -- Probations? Felonies? Misdemeanors? What is all this? What happened?

    A: To dispel a common error people make, I am not a felon. I was once charged with a lot of them, but that was due to a good mix of having a roomate committing a a serious financial/computer crime, and lazy investigative work on the part of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. I pointed out the real guy they wanted, one of my roomate's friends, and after a bunch of bickering with the government, they agreed to let me off, on the condition I plead guilty to a misdemeanor for a trumped up charge involving me checking my email over lowe's insecure wireless network.. So I did, and received one of the lightest computer crimes sentences ever given.

    Why would I plead to a misdemeanor? Simple. I spent in excess of $30,000 on attorney fees, expert witness testimony (just in case it went to trial), travel costs for shipping myself and my attorney to North Carolina every time they decided to hold any sort of hearing, and all sorts of fun stuff like that. To take it to trial would have easily cost double that. I picked my battles. I exited with a punishment lesser than many get for reckless driving.

    So I basically checked my email on an open AP, and paid a huge price for it. Now, I just use a blackberry, and EVDO when I really need mobile internet. Cheaper, when you count in all the costs I paid. :)

  • Q: "noweb4u" is a stupid "hacker" alias.

    A: I know. I never claimed to be a hacker, nor did I ever intend for "noweb4u" to be anything more than my AIM username and livejournal name. The news however, likes to make it sound like I actually go around calling myself that.

  • Q: Why did you choose "noweb4u"?

    A: It had something to do with my dad telling me to "get off the web" when he needed to use the phone one day when I was young. I was being cocky that day, closed my web browser, and decided to install a copy of AIM I downloaded the other day, and needed a username that was unique. "Paul" was taken, so I chose "noweb4u" because that night the "Soup Nazi" episode from seinfeld was on and I thought it clever for whatever reason that 17 year olds think they're clever. So I used AIM instead of the web, and a few minutes later, my dad told me he said to get off the internet. I said he said to get off the web, and so I was using chat instead. He got upset and I got offline. But the username stuck.

  • Q: What's with the color blue?

    A: I love blue. Sometimes I take that love to extremes. Nothing weird though.

  • Q: Why are 99% of your user icons pictures of stuffed pikachu?

    A: Because. Pikachu is awesome, and I collect Pikachu stuff. Besides, he's a mouse that runs around all day having fun, and electrocuting things that anger him. That's kinda cool. It doesn't mean I like anime though, or even that I really like watching pokemon all that much. Why is he in pictures? It's hard to photograph myself doing something, and sometimes, I don't like pictures of me personally doing something on the internet. So pikachu does it instead. You can think of him as my proxy for photography.

  • Q: You seem so conservative about some of your beliefs. Are you some kind of right wing extremist?

    A: Nope, just picky about what goes in my body. Do what you will with your own, provided it doesn't interfere with mine. If you're into sticking cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, meat hooks (ooh! pictures of people hanging from meat hooks for leisure), or whatever into your body, more power to you. Your right to swing your fists is unhindered until you meet my nose. Just don't expect me to take you seriously if your face sets off a metal detector.

  • Q: You seem so liberal about some of your beliefs. Are you some bongwater drinking hippie?

    A: Nope. Well, on the bong water drinking hippie part anyway. My political leanings are toward the left. I believe in equality of all kinds, habeas corpus, peace (unless war is actually justified), reproductive rights, high educational spending, science over theology in the classroom, diversity everywhere, and care and support of the indigent, covering basic needs as well as quality legal defense.

    I believe in and support the constitution and ALL of the amendments. Especially the 1st, 2nd, 4th and 5th.

  • Q: You're so weird. What's wrong with you?

    A: A medical professional or two have told me I have Asperger Syndrome. Anyone I've met familiar with the disorder concurs.

    Also, allergies are a big issue for me. Some perfumes even cause asthma attacks for me. Neat, huh? (This is why I don't tolerate cigarette smoking well - I'm allergic to it. If I'm near it and not complaining, I'm probably loaded up on antihistamines.) I also am very allergic to weed pollens, tree pollens, most scented body soaps, detergents, antiperspirants (don't worry! I said most, not all!), dust mites, fabric softener, and a billion other fun things.

  • Q: What do you do for a living?

    A: I am a network operations manager at a CLEC (Competitive local exchange carrier - A competing phone company, like Talk America, TDS Metrocom, etc - though neither of those are actually my employer). When I'm not doing that, I also do on-call computer and phone support for a small list of clients through Timmins Technologies, LLC. What time left over is spent working on my Telcodata project, working on Perl Modules I am the maintainer of, and of course, spending quiet time just enjoying life.

  • Q: Dude, I've got this cool, awesome party, and you just gotta be there!

    A: Maybe. If I don't show, it's because I don't like being around crowds of people, especially if they're all consuming alcohol. If this isn't the case, I just might go. Nothing personal either way.

  • Q: I thought we were friends, you never call and hang out!

    A: If you've read this bio and still think I have much time to hang with friends, you might need to read it again. Don't take it as a personal affront if I don't speak to you for several weeks, I'm probably just busy. If I didn't want to be friends, I'd be pretty obvious about it. :-)

    That, and I'm busy being a minor web celebrity. You know, it's hard and stuff. ;-)

    I have full time job, and running my own company. Yea, so I'm kinda busy. But you can always catch me on IRC (coffee.ofdoom.org:6667 - #mi2600 - I'm "paul") and see what's up.

  • Q: You seem so jaded and cynical, yet amazingly truthful and funny yourself. Why?

    A: I don't know. I don't understand a lot of social mores, and spent the first 18 years of my life in an idealistic frame of mind, watching myself get stepped on by anyone that I tried to help. I've developed a healthy sense of cynicism to help compensate for my social naivety. Don't take it personally. If I didn't like you, I'd just say "I don't like you.". Some people are so used to whiny passive aggressive people on LiveJournal, that they automatically think I'm one. I'm not.

  • Q: What's with the Robert Frost poem in your LJ Bio?

    A: My mom read that to me a lot as a kid. I really think it describes my life rather well, so my bio wouldn't be complete without it.

  • Q: What does the title of your journal say?

    A: un chapeau sur ma tête means (in french): "a hat on my head"

    Eta kuram na smekh (Это курам на смех): This means "That's for chickens to laugh at". It's River Tam's safeword in Serenity.

18 usc s.1030, 248, 2600, 313, 586, 734, 802.11, 810, 947, abandoned buildings, amateur radio, anti-terrorism, aqua teen hunger force, arabic, asperger's syndrome, aspergers, aspergers syndrome, autism, bert the turtle, binder clips, blue, cars, chaos, cisco, civil liberties, clli codes, collecting business cards, compromised, computer security, computers, crescent freshness, criminal law, curly fries, databases, debian, detroit, diet mt dew, digital photography, disaster recovery and mitigation, driving around, dropkick murphys, electronics, emergency operations center, eoc, exploration, fast computers, flogging molly, foamy, friendship, fries, get ban_set from mithgol, god, guinea pigs, hacking, ham radio, heavy petting, helping people, heterosexuality, high-functioning autism, home automation, intelligence gathering, internet, irc, jolt cola, lata 340, legal research, lewis black, linux, love, metricom, mountain dew, mp3, mysql, mythbusters, network security, networking, networks, ninjas, not starting the fire, notacon, oreida zesty twirls, perl, php, phreaking, pikachu, playstation 2, police, polyamory, psychology, public service, races, radio repeaters, reading rainbow, ricochet, routers, security, sex, shiny things, sirius, skywarn, social engineering, social studies, south park, sql, stealing pens, teh lunix, telco, telco ninjas, telecommunications, the cold war, the far side, thunderstorms, tinkering, toastman, une-l, unix, unreal tournament, urban exploration, w00t, w00ting, wilderness hiking, wireless, zesty, zesty twirls, الجزيرة, ,