Paul Timmins (noweb4u) wrote,
Paul Timmins
noweb4u

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Amway shyster tries to sucker noweb4u while he's connected to the internet. Hilarity ensues.

My truck is now over twice as tall as it was before, counting my antennas.

10 meter whip is now attached to my luggage rack, awaiting my General class license.

I now clip low hanging trees. I had to attach it to the passenger side so I can still go through drive thrus.

This song has a chorus of "I do it for the drugs, I do it just to feel alive"
It needs to be "I do it for the fries, I do it just to feel zesty"

w00t.

Much thanks to Myself248 for his help making the luggage rack mount. It's incredibly leet, and cost me less than $18.

Oh, I'm alive too.

Had some creep from Quixtar/"Team of Destiny"/Amway come try to do their creepy talk to me when I was chillin in the Mall's food court and was online. These people were the fucking stupidest shysters I've ever seen. At one point, one bragged about how he "work at DaimlerChrysler and oh, if you want, you can email me at (removed)@daimlerchrysler.com." "Oh, your work dosn't care you use your work email for personal business?" "Yea, but I don't care. The secretary told me the other day that 'They're reading your email, you should stop' and I just told her 'Oh, I don't care, that's okay, I don't plan on working here for too much longer'"

I've decided that I'm gonna rustle through my network contacts at Daimler Chrysler and try and make his dream of not being employed at Daimler Chrysler a reality. He also gave me a vonage number to call him at. I'm gonna call my contacts at Vonage and make sure they're billing him for a business account, since he's clearly operating a business on it.

He also mentioned how he was getting divorced and how he plans on keeping the kids. Fuck that. No judge in the world is gonna say "Yea, stay with this creepy ass dad who's pitching pyramid schemes to random passersby". If I can figure out where the divorce is filed, I should file a friend of the court brief to make sure the Judge is aware of what he does on his spare time. Apparently it doesn't involve spending his Friday Nights with the kids.

My two favorite parts of it. He started the conversation by talking about my wireless internet connection. So later on, he tells me the founders name, and I push it into google while he's blathering on and get This. I say 'Wait, is this 'Team of Destiny?' He stops in his tracks. "umm, yea. How did you know that?" "Uhh, first hit on google on your founders name turns up a page explaining how the operation is a pyramid scheme and explictly explains how it violates Michigan state law." I spin the laptop around so he can see the header "Why Team of Destiny is an Illegal Pyramid" in 18 point text.
He freezes, and stares like a deer in the headlights.
"Who did this?!?! It's not illegal!?! Anyone can just go on the internet and write stuff like this?"
I went back to the google search results, and showed other links of people bitching how they got scammed by it. "If it's so false, where's the good information? The positive 'Team of Destiny' isn't illegal, and I'm making good money site?"
"Well, you can just go to (link to the pyramid scheme founder's homepage removed)"
"But that's -his- page! What is he gonna do, say he sucks? Of course it's gonna say good things! Anyone can just go on the internet and say they're good!"

I then asked if I could record the rest of the conversation. "Sure, I have nothing to hide!" I go to start doing so, and the laptop drops dead.
Fuck, and I wanted to get him on recording saying that I don't have to sell anything, I just have to sign others up to make money like he did earlier.

So I just got angry with him, asked him for his contact infomation, and then said "I'm bored. Please go away now."
"uhh"
"You speak english, right? I'm bored, please go away"
"Well, let me ..."
"No. Please go away. Don't make me call mall security and tell them you're soliciting on the grounds."
So he leaves..

How this incident could have gone better:
* Batteries didn't die. If I could have got a recording of him telling me that I can maintain a downline and not actually sell any product, that would have clinched my upcoming complaint to the Attorney General's office.
* Someone had gotten a picture. amishone was considering doing it, but thought better of it. Fuck that, I don't care if I'm rude to these scammers, so I should have just whipped out my camera and took a photo point blank. Had -I- thought of it, there'd be photos of the jackass with his DaimlerChrystler access card still affixed to his belt posted here, and sent to my DCX contact. Smile that shit eating grin as long as you can, I say. It won't last.


Oh, another part. He was trying to tell me how stores would go away and how people should buy groceries online, and I could get in on it. I said "Who the fuck buys groceries online? I mean, I buy shit on ebay, but groceries?" "Well, it comes with a 90 day return policy!" "Oh, kickass. That means I can unplug the fridge and save the energy, and just keep my meat and milk on the counter. If I don't drink it before it goes bad, I'll just return it!"
"no no no, you can't do that!!"
"Why not? I'm sure there's a legal loophole somehow. How would you prevent yourself from going bankrupt?"
"Uhh, that's not important"
"What about credit card fraud, where someone frauds a few grand in groceries?"
"Uhh, that's not important, you see"
"Sure as fuck is, if it's my ass on the other end of the transaction.... But how about this one: I don't have my dinner for tonight purchased, and it's already 9pm. Should I just order it on your site and request UPS 1 hour delivery, special rush, so I don't pass out from hypoglycemia while it's delivered? I mean, if retail stores are going away..."
"Uhh, umm"

I love making scammers squirm.
They really fucked with the wrong person this time.
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